Just thinking a couple of things this morning (which actually demonstrates an increase in brain activity over typical mornings).
This Pastor of Discipleship job has been an interesting journey for me. In my two previous careers (environmental engineer and legislative assistant), I was responsible for producing tangible products- erosion control plans, artificial wetland design for wastewater treatment, policy position papers, legislation. At the end of the day, I could look back and hold in my hands the work I had done. I could send something home to my mom and say, "Here's what I did today. Thought you might want to put it on the fridge."
In this new job, there aren't many tangible products. At the end of the day, I often look back and wonder what in the world I did all day. There's nothing to show for it and I wonder if I am wasting the NCC tither's money. Usually, the days are filled with just being with people. Talking, listening, praying. And I am slowly beginning to realize how important that is.
Margaret Feinberg said something at Catalyst which has helped me make a lot of sense out of all of this. I can't quote her directly, but she was talking about ministry with today's emerging generations. She said that ministry in today's context requires us to spend significant amounts of time just being with people. The emerging generation wants to connect and process and find quality time with others. And that's the most important thing we can offer them-- our time.
My goal is to facilitate changed lives. Lives that follow Christ more closely and that look more like Him. That's not something you can measure at the end of the day. It takes time. I can invest my time, but I need God to step into the equation and miraculously turn that time into small moments of growth. He turned water into wine and a few fish into a feast, so I figure he can do something significant with the time we invest in others.
I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it is that I am supposed to be doing. And in some ways, I hope that I am always trying to figure things out to some degree so that I stay completely reliant on the Holy Spirit. I don't even know where I am going in this post, so I am going to stop there.